Brance, Lauren & Haddie

14 responses so far ↓

• 1 Tiana // Nov 18, 2008 at 3:34 pm

  I had never heard the term transracial adoption either until I started looking closer at adoption. Chris and I have always wanted to do it, but we needed to wait till he finished residency (which he finally has!), so now that I’ve been researching it more, it seems that that’s the term most of the adoptive moms use. We’ve only really been looking at domestic adoption though, so maybe it’s different for international adoption. It may just be the new PC term for it- it’s hard to keep up with how the terminology changes for things like that!

• 2 Tiana // Nov 18, 2008 at 5:37 pm

  So I have a question for both of you. I love it that you’re open to adopting a child of a different race than you. If you were to do that, would you take in to consideration how well your extended family or community would accept that child? I’m not asking because of a concern about your particular family, just because it’s a question we’ve been advised to consider by other people who have adopted babies. So I’m interested in how other people would process that decision. I feel like it would probably be less of an issue with international adoption, since families like the Chapman family have made this more socially acceptable. But if you were to domestically adopt a child of color, would you be concerned at all about how your extended family or community would feel or behave towards that child? Your thoughts would help me form my own thoughts on this issue as we look in to this process…

• 3 Brance // Nov 18, 2008 at 9:20 pm

  It does get complicated. My dad has expressed concern over adoption in general. His concern is based on past experience with people he knows who have adopted. He tells me it has never worked out well. I don’t know any of the details concerning race, domestic vs international, age of the adopted child, etc. But that concern is something we think about.

  Lauren’s parents love the idea. They nearly adopted a little boy themselves, but it didn’t work out. They would love the child as their own grandchild should we adopt. And they love the idea of international adoption, even suggesting they could go with us to the other country! I doubt they would, that was just how excited they were at the prospect.

  Our church would be very welcoming. We have a small congregation that is very close and family like. There are two non-Caucasian families in our congregation already and those we’ve talked to about it have been excited by the idea.

  The general community might be another story. There are a decent number of minorities (black, asian and hispanic) in this area, and occasionally I’ll see a mixed racial couple/family. Unfortunately I’ve also heard negative/racial comments whispered about it. I think it will require constant vigilance on the father’s part to make sure his children and wife are not subjected to any harsh treatment. And to make sure the family is involved in a welcoming, accepting, loving church home.

  Those are my thoughts about it, maybe Lauren will chime in with her perspective.

• 4 Tiana // Nov 19, 2008 at 2:04 pm

  I feel a lot the same way. I’d like to think that there wouldn’t be any problems in my family. But then again, no one in either my or Chris’s extended family has adopted a non-Caucasian child (Chris has a few cousins who are adopted, but white…). So ultimately, I really have no idea how our families would respond, although I’m not especially worried about either of the families.

  I do worry a little about our church. We LOVE our church, and there are many people there who have adopted children. All of those adopted children, though are Caucasian, Asian, South American, or European. I have no doubt that our church family would welcome and love our child, no matter what ethnicity he/she is. However, my concern is that if we were to adopt a black baby from Tennessee (which would most likely be the case), that child would only have one or two other kids in the whole huge church who look like him.

  There are also concerns about our neighborhood and community. We love Brentwood, and the Brentwood public schools are the best in the state. But the schools here are 98% white. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but maybe our current church and community wouldn’t be the best place to raise a child of color. Maybe we should consider choosing another part of town and another church that has more diversity? These aren’t decisions we need to make any time soon, they’re just things we’ve been told we should consider- is that something we would be willing to do if we did proceed with that type of adoption? Here in Nashville, international adoption is very favorably looked upon, almost considered culturally mainstream, especially in middle to upper middle class evangelical circles. Domestic transracial adoption is a different ballgame, so we’re trying to think through all those issues before making any decisions. I’ve wondered if it’s not just an issue of making sure the child is welcomed and loved, but is the child always going to be the only one who looks different? Is the child going to be encouraged to explore and celebrate his/her differences, rather than just trying to pretend he’s the same as everyone around him? I don’t know the answer, we’re just investigating what our own opinions are. That’s why I’ve gotten addicted to reading blogs by other adoptive moms…

• 5 Lauren // Nov 20, 2008 at 4:02 pm

  Haddie is down for a nap, so I thought I would put down my housework for a moment and join the discussion. Adoption is a wonderful but complex issue and I’m so glad that we are getting to talk about this. Thank you so much Tiana for sharing your thoughts. It really helps to know another family who is wading through all the information and forming opinions too.

  Like Brance said, we’ve wanted to adopt since we were first married, but unfortunately it took a miserable pregnancy for us to get serious about adoption. Since we first started talking about adoption, we’ve received varied responses and advice from family and friends. Of course, everyone has been very kind and helpful, but their varying opinions has forced us to think long and hard about what we believe about adoption and how we feel led as a family.

  Tiana, I think it is really exciting that your family is thinking about domestic adoption of a black child! I was glad that you mentioned your thoughts and concerns, as I too have been thinking about the implications of transracial adoption (I’m glad to finally have a term:)) since we have considered internationally adopting from an African country. Brance and I have talked about adopting at least two children of different racial backgrounds, so that no one child in our family would feel like the odd person out. I know that might not work for every family and adopting single child of a different racial background might work very well (as it has for John Piper and his wife). But, it’s just something that we’ve been thinking about for our family.

  I understand your thoughts and concerns about being a minority, as I have often wondered the same things. I really haven’t given much thought to adoption and schooling, as Brance and I are pretty certain that we will home school, at least through elementary. The majority of the children in our school system are white, too. But having been through and taught in our system, I can say that the black children seem to do wonderfully, both academically and socially. As far as differences are concerned, to me race is just one of a host of differences – social status, appearance, ability/disability, faith etc. are all things that can make a person stand out. In fact, the year I taught in our public school system I noticed that it was the poor children who were most ostracized. It just broke my heart! I know this probably seems overly simplistic, but I can’t help but feel that the benefits that a child would receive from being part of a loving family would far outweigh any drawbacks from being different.

  Right now, the process seems unclear to me, for example if you adopt domestically do you need to go through an adoption organization or not. Maybe I just need to devote more time to research. Tiana, did you find the dinner you and Chris attended to be helpful?

• 6 Tiana // Nov 21, 2008 at 12:36 pm

  The dinner we went to was helpful, but it was primarily a fundraiser dinner, and also served as a way of getting more people interested in adoption. It didn’t go in to a lot of specifics. Most of the specifics I’ve learned have been through good friends of ours who either have already gone through the process or who are in the process now. We probably will go through an agency, although I guess you could just find an attorney and do it that way. But I think the agency will be helpful since there’s still so much we don’t know. We’ve also considered going the foster parent route instead (or both) and see where that leads. We can’t officially start the training process yet, though, because Chris is applying for one job here in Nashville and one job out of state, so we have to pick a permanent place of residence first, and that probably won’t be final until February or March. But the research part of the process is in full swing!

  Those are good points about how race is only one difference. I remember being teased in school about various things, and I was not a minority race. So I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing for a child to look different from most of his peers. But I do want to be prepared for the issues that will undoubtedly arise if that’s the case. For example, we have good friends who have adopted 2 African American boys (who are 2 of my favorite kids in the world- we love that family!). She has another friend who told a story about their family. They have one black child, about 3 or 4 years old, and a biological white child who’s around 1. The adopted child asked his mom one day why his skin was brown when his sister’s skin was peach. She said the most appropriate answer, which is that God made all of us different and isn’t it great that we’re not all the same! But the little boy was still sad and said he wanted to have peach skin like his mommy and daddy and sister. The mom was heart broken for him and tried to tell him how much she loved his brown skin and how much God loved him, which is why He made him the way He did. But of course a 3 year old doesn’t always understand that and started to cry and kept saying he didn’t want to be brown, he wanted to be like the rest of his family. It was so sad to hear this mom talking about the agony she felt because she couldn’t make her little boy’s hurt go away. I know issues like that will come up, and I don’t know how to respond to them yet.

  Also, if we have a child who is not the same color as us and we try to talk to him about how God loves all of us and made us all different and special, I don’t want for the only time our child sees us interacting with other people of color to be at a soup kitchen or some other ministry type function. As someone on a blog I read said, she didn’t want to have to talk to her kids about how we should not judge people by the color of their skin and “never mind the fact that I have no black friends, that we live in a neighborhood that is overwhelmingly white, and that the non-white people we meet are either delivering food, caring for other people’s children, or working behind a register.” That really got me thinking. I don’t know if that means I need to move to a different part of town, but maybe I do need to make more of an effort to expand my circle of friends?

  But ultimately, I think you’re right that the benefits a child would receive from being part of a loving family would far outweigh any drawbacks from being different. These are just some of the questions I’ve realized that I need to consider. It’s helpful to hear your opinion. I think I won’t ever be fully prepared, but I want to walk in to this issue with my eyes wide open about some of the difficult things that might come up. Still, I know God is big enough to handle all of those issues, so if He calls us to adopt a baby who looks different from us, He’ll equip us with whatever we need to raise that child.

• 7 Lauren // Nov 21, 2008 at 6:53 pm

  Thank you for bringing up good points Tiana. I can see what you are saying. During my college years I interacted with people of various ethnicities. But since I’ve moved back to the rural town I grew up in, I don’t so much anymore. It’s not that I don’t desire to have these kinds of friends. In fact, I loved having a circle of friends from all over the world when I was in college… Ethiopia, India, Russia. It is just that the majority of the people around here look like me (we can definitely relate). I don’t want our adoptive child to always seem different either. I like your thoughts about possibly expanding your friend circle or moving. Good things for us (or any perspective adoptive parent) to think about…

• 8 Tiana // Nov 22, 2008 at 9:00 am

  Oh Lauren I meant to tell you something else. You mentioned the possibility of adopting 2 kids of different racial backgrounds- that reminded me of the family of one of my best friends in college. Her family was awesome. My friend was adopted from Korea, and her parents really wanted all of the kids to have a “buddy.” So first they adopted 2 Caucasian kids from the U.S. Then they adopted 2 kids from Korea. Then they had 2 biological children. It was such a fun family. (This was 35 years ago, so maybe adoption was cheaper back then? That’s a lot of adoptions…). But they were really open in talking about their adoptions. In fact, the biological kids said sometimes they were jealous because the adopted kids got so much special treatment. They got to celebrate 2 birthdays every year- their actual birthday, and then their adoption birthday. My friend said she had no bitterness at all about her adoption, that probably the best thing that ever happened to her was being adopted by her parents. All the kids are really close, but my friend’s closest sibling is her adopted Korean brother, even though they’re not biologically related. They were such a neat family.

• 9 Aunt Mary // Nov 23, 2008 at 5:33 pm

  Just read these posts on adoption and am very excited for you and for the process you are going through. I will be in much prayer for both families (Brance & Lauren and Chris & Tiana) as you make God-centered decisions.

  Adoption will always be a “leap of faith,” and we need to lean on God as we proceed. Just this morning, as our pastor continues his sermon series on “The Foundations of Our Faith,” Genesis 1-11, we heard how Genesis 10 teaches there is absolutely no room for any racism (especially not among Christians who should read and know the Word), as we are all descended from Noah — and ultimately Adam, so are all related with only the most minute differences between us that are physical. Most of the differences between us are social and cultural. We are all sons of God.

  As you said, we often can learn from the good and the bad that others have experienced with adoption when considering how to proceed.

  1) I have a cousin who was adopted — he was much older than me and has now passed away. He worked hard growing up and went through KU and law school eventually. He became a bankruptcy attorney in D.C. and was very successful in life. He was the only child of my aunt & uncle though he had a sister who was adopted out to other family friends. (His parents were killed in a car accident when he and his sis were around 3 & 5). He was ALWAYS treated the same in our large extended family to the point that many of us younger cousins were adults before we found out he had been adopted. Only one very elderly aunt (who was also childless) treated him differently, and fortunately, no one in the family paid her much mind. So, I would say, this was a most successful experience. He was white and blended in readily to his adoptive circumstances. It was an easy and natural assimilation — no cultural issues to have to deal with. (I only say this because this is an issue in the discussion).

  2) I had a friend here in Lee’s Summit some years ago who became a foster parent. She was very blonde and blue-eyed with two children of her own (and husband’s). They became foster parents and soon had a black “crack” baby in their care. He was extremely difficult — colicky, slept little, some health issues, cried non-stop at times. She would go to the grocery or do shopping without her husband during the day and receive comments and whispers that were totally inappropriate at times. Being the Christian that she was, she always had a kind remark in turn that gave a positive “light” to the child. However, the baby was much too young to know how cruel or inappropriate the remark was, and if he had been older, this would be something that would have been very hurtful– and something to consider for the child’s sake — our world is so fallen and broken without Christ! To put an end to this story, my friend and her husband grew to love this difficult baby endlessly, and sought petition to adopt him (he became available for adoption when his mother finally relinquished her rights to him). He was a part of their family for over two years. The judge/court turned down their petition on the basis that they were not black, and it was felt that adoptions if at all possible should not be out-of-race/culture. I don’t know if this was just a “judge-thing” or a state of Missouri-thing, but their hearts were shattered. Think of that poor baby’s heart — they were the only parents he knew for the two and a half years of his life! (They had taken him in at 3 days old). So, this was a heart-breaking experience all-around. But for that length of time, he was given a godly, loving home and family. That had to be a good thing.

  3) My brother’s sister-in-law & husband adopted a white newborn crack baby. He would now be around 24. He was extremely difficult from the start (as in #2 above). He had attention deficit difficulties from the beginning. He, too, cried most of the time, slept little, and to say the least, was a major disruption to their lives — I say this only because this couple is not Christian, and were probably not the most loving parents. They expected a “normal” child, and “normal” he was not. Patrick was very intelligent, but always led a life of wrong/poor choices. When he hit puberty, he became more of a problem — drug use, problems at school, problems with stealing, he was in and out of “juvey” as a teen, etc. He now lives in a half-way house because his brain is “fried” due to repeated years of drug use. He walks to Wendy’s a mile or so from the half-way house to work, mostly cleaning at the Wendy’s. He is not allowed to drive because of his mental condition. Patrick remained an only child in the home, and as an adult is basically “on his own” now. His parents have pretty much washed their hands of him. This has been a tragic, tragic adoption.

  3) When our kids were between the ages of 10 and 5 yrs. old, Chuck came to me and said he would like us to adopt TWO more children.(Yes, making six kids). After having four children in five years, and just getting Chip in kindergarten, I was not ready for that! He, however, was very serious. International adoptions were not “big” in those days, so that wasn’t even considered. As I told Chuck, white, “normal” babies were not given to parents who could have their own children. Our options would come from the disabled child, the crack babies, the bi-racial, or older children. I ask all looking at this to forgive my lack of exuberence, but at that point, my energies were fully engaged in the active four children I already had. I simply had no energy (though lots of heart) for a “special needs” child, much less two of them. Chuck was working 12 hr. days, so it was easy for him to have these desires. He would get to come home and “play” for an hour or two with the kids before their appointed bedtime — while I basically raised them. Not that he wasn’t a good father — just not there a lot — too busy working! We had serious discussions — as you should be having, about how this not only effects us as a couple, but the child/ren you already have…as well as any others you might have in the future. If you do a domestic adoption, will it be a special needs child? These children CERTAINLY need godly, loving homes, too. I am not saying that at all. Just make sure you are ready for your life and your daughter’s life to change dramatically. (As it would with any new child in the family).

  Sometimes, having a special needs child can be the best thing ever — but sometimes not — so just make sure you are prepared for the unexpected and have hearts big enough to wrap around whatever you receive. There can also be huge financial burdens with a special needs child.

  Sometimes, I think it would be better to adopt first — then your “own” children will come into that family and situation, and won’t have the same adjustment to go through. Especially as in a child ClaraBeth’s age — who has been used to being the center of attention in her parents world, and suddenly a child with many needs comes in to take that away — especially if the child had special needs that took a much more proportionate amount of time away from her. Not that this wouldn’t be a good thing, and couldn’t be done — just that it might be very difficult for her. So much to consider!

  Now in Haddie’s case, she is probably too young to have that same effect on her — though by the time you actually received a child, she would probably be close to ClaraBeth’s age! If the child were simply another race and not “special needs,” I personally think the transition would be much easier — though not without some difficulties. But as in my friend’s case, the “blackness” of the baby was simply not an issue with them. But he was young, and as Tiana said, would it have been fair to have raised him in a mostly white community and culture? Obviously, the court disagreed.

  Kristin is praying about adoption eventually as well. However, being single is a big obstacle in most cases…even in international adoptions. She should probably start out as a foster parent. That is sometimes the best place to start. That way, all of you (Haddie and ClaraBeth, too) can see how your family dynamics can change and how well you can make adjustments. It is also an excellent way to obtain a child for adoption. As in my friend’s case, sometimes the real mom will relinquish her rights, leaving the foster parent at the top of the list in adopting (the race thing just prevented it in her case).

  Well, these are just a collection of my ramblings and thoughts. I commend you all for being willing to consider the posibilities. Just keep your eyes wide open and your hearts in fervent prayer.

• 10 Tiana // Nov 25, 2008 at 9:38 am

  You’re right, Mary- adoption has lots of issues to consider. I have many friends who have done it (domestically, internationally, transracially, and even through the foster care system- adoption is fairly popular here in Nashville), and I have friends my age who were adopted themselves, so I think I’ve had a pretty good exposure to some of the issues that may arise. But like you said, it’s always a leap of faith because you don’t know how your particular situation will turn out. All you can do is pray, trust God to lead you through it, then rely on Him to give you the skills and resources you need to raise that child. I don’t think I personally would refrain from adopting because I’m afraid it might not turn out well based on someone else’s bad experience. But it is good to be aware of the difficulties that might lie ahead.

  I’m really sad to hear the story of your friend who had the baby taken away from her because she wasn’t black. I think that’s terrible. As far as I understand, here in Tennessee the foster parents are always given first priority if a child becomes available for permanent adoption. I would hope the color of their skin would not be a prohibiting factor, at least not in this day and age. If we were to adopt or even foster parent a child of color, it might be better for the child if we had diversity among our friends and community, but ultimately, I think a loving home is the most important thing to provide any child. I think that judge was very wrong in his decision, and it makes me sad for those parents and the child.

  As far as how Clara Beth would handle a younger sibling with special needs, that little girl’s world is going to be rocked when she gets a younger sibling anyway, whether he/she has special needs or not. She’s had too long to think that she’s the center of the universe. It’s one of the reasons why I didn’t want quite so much space between our children, but I guess God had different plans for us, since He hasn’t decided to give us another baby just yet (we’ve been trying for almost a year…).

  I hope Kristin is able to adopt a baby. I have a good friend here who is a single mom to a boy adopted from Vietnam. She’s had him since he was an infant (he’s 10 now) and she’s done great. It can certainly be done, and again, a loving home is the most important thing Kristin has to offer a child. I think she’d be a great mom.

  And Mary, I don’t think anyone would hold it against you for thinking that 4 children were enough to handle at one time! I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting to adopt two children with special needs when you already had 4 children of your own. Raising our biological children is also a very important calling, and not everyone is called to adopt, just like not everyone is called to be missionaries in Africa. Adopting children is great, but there are plenty of other ways to help and support children in need if adoption is not something we feel led to do.

  Some of my friends who have adopted have told me that the most important thing to think about is why you want to adopt in the first place. My good friend who adopted 2 African American boys, then had one biological baby, told me that I need to come to a place where I’m interested in adoption for its own sake, not just because I haven’t been able to get pregnant again. She said people tend to have a romantic image of adoption as this lofty way to save orphans, but in reality, adoption can be messy (especially when the child has special needs or there are interracial issues). She says you have to be prepared to confront those issues, and be at a place where you understand why you want to do it. That’s why she encouraged me to read blogs of other adoptive moms so I’ll be aware of many of the issues that might arise. It’s been really enlightening to me, and definitely has changed my thinking quite a bit on the issue. Still, I know I have a lot left to learn and that I’ll never be fully prepared. But again, I’d like to go in with my eyes wide open if this is something God calls us to do.

• 11 Lauren // Nov 25, 2008 at 9:39 am

  Tiana, thanks for sharing about your friend from college. It’s good to hear about families where adoption was very successful. It sounds like she had a very special family! I really like the buddy plan, it’s something I haven’t thought of. It’s funny that the biological kids were jealous that the adoptive kids got to celebrate two birthdays .

  Brance and I hope that we can adopt more than one child. We’ve decided that we aren’t necessarily opposed to adopting older children, but we don’t want the newest adoptive child to be older than our other children (biological & adoptive). Do you know how old the children in your friend’s family were when they were adopted?

  Aunt Mary thanks for sharing too. I think it is good to hear about situations where adoption was successful and unsuccessful. There is something to be gleaned from both.

  I can completely understand why you were hesitant to adopt. Four children in 5 years is a lot! It is interesting how things have changed in regards to international adoption since you and Chuck considered adopting.

  I haven’t thought a whole lot about the foster care route. I know that Tiana mentioned it in an earlier comment too. My parents have went through the training to be foster parents and are currently praying about it. A few years ago my parents nearly took in a little boy, but some problems arose and they were unable to. I know that they are in big need of foster parents in our community. They have advertised on more than one billboard in our small town. But I think foster care scares me. I get so attached to children, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to deal with the emotional trauma of having children given to my care only to be taken away. I guess it is something I should be willing to pray about. Doing God’s will isn’t always the easiest, so I definitely want to be open to foster care if that is God’s plan for our family.

• 12 Lauren // Nov 25, 2008 at 10:14 am

  That’s funny that Tiana and I were writing our posts at pretty much the exact same time! I just read your post Tiana and was curious if your friend who adopted two African children has a blog. I’d be interested in reading some of her thoughts. I know you are pretty busy, but I would love to look at a few adoptive family blogs if you have any recommendations.

  I didn’t realize that you guys were having a hard time conceiving before your miscarriage. I’m so sorry. One of my closest friends from college got married a few days after Brance and I did. She and her husband started trying to conceive a few months before Brance and I did and have yet to have a baby. I know it has been very hard for her. She and her husband are looking into in vitro & possibly adoption. I’ve always felt a little guilty that we were able to have Haddie with no problems.

• 13 Tiana // Nov 25, 2008 at 3:34 pm

  That is funny that we were writing at the same time! My awesome friend Amie is the one who adopted the two little boys, who are both black, then had her own baby just last summer. They struggled with infertility for a little while. Her OB was convinced that she could help her get pregnant and wanted her to try some fertility treatments, but Amie said she knew there were plenty of babies out there who needed families, so she and her husband immediately started training for adoption instead of trying infertility treatments (did I mention that she’s really awesome??). They adopted Ben as a newborn from Kansas City (she actually spent her first 2 weeks with him at Lake Lotawana, of all places- this is a friend I know from Nashville, not Missouri. Small world.) They brought him home and have had him ever since. He’s 2 1/2 now and such a cool kid. Then, a year later, their adoption agency told them they had a newborn baby who needed a foster home until the birth mom decided what she wanted to do (Amie and David had also done the foster care training). So they agreed and brought Jeremiah home temporarily. Baby J, as we all call him, is also black and his birth mom was from somewhere here in Tennessee, I think. They of course grew to love him, so when his birth mom decided to relinquish her rights, David and Amie adopted him permanently. As soon as his adoption was finalized, Amie found out she was pregnant! They just had their first biological child (another boy, yikes!) in August, so now they have three boys- ages 2 1/2, 1 1/2, and newborn. She’s been a great source of information for me, since they’ve gone through the foster care system as well as direct adoption, and we’ve been close friends with them the whole time, so we’ve gotten to watch it all happen step by step. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a blog, although she needs to since they just moved away from Nashville (which makes us very, very sad). But she has another friend who adopted transracially and then had a biological child, and this woman does have a blog. Amie encouraged me to read it because this friend writes very openly about the struggles she’s had with an interracial family (this family also recently moved to Australia, so they have all kinds of issues…). That website is http://www.growingfamily.typepad.com. She also has links on her blog to other adoptive moms, so I’ve just gone surfing. Also, one of the girls from our church who sometimes babysits Clara Beth has a sister who just adopted a little boy from Russia. Their website is http://www.wolffamilyadoption.com. She details a lot of her experience, and if you’re interested in international adoption, she might have some interesting information on there.

  Yes, Chris and I have had some trouble trying to have another baby, although at this point I don’t think we would be considered to have infertility issues just yet. I was still nursing for the first 4 or 5 months that we tried, and then when I quit nursing I got pregnant 3 months later, so not too bad. But as you know, that pregnancy didn’t turn out well. My doctor said we should be able to get pregnant again, but there was some scar tissue in my tubes and a risk for another ectopic pregnancy, so we really don’t know what to expect at this point. We didn’t have any trouble at all getting pregnant the first time, so this has just been confusing and surprising for us. I’m not too discouraged yet, but I’m beginning to realize how very heart breaking it must be for women who struggle long term with infertility. Every month that I don’t get pregnant is such a huge disappointment, and I have to try very hard to stay positive and remember that it’s only been a few months since the miscarriage. Patience is a hard thing for me. Like I said before, Chris and I have always wanted to adopt, so we know that will always be an option, but I had wanted to have at least two kids naturally before we went down the adoption road, since I’m 33 already (yikes!). But I’m discovering that God does not always work things out the way I want Him to, so I’m trying to be flexible with my plans and just be open to whatever He has planned for us. I’m praying that there are more children in store for us soon, I’m just not sure how those children will end up joining our family, but I’ll take them however God gives them to us.

• 14 Tiana // Nov 25, 2008 at 3:35 pm

  Whoops, sorry- that last blog address is http://www.wolffamilyadoption.blogspot.com.

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