Brance, Lauren & Haddie

Haddie was rummaging around in some of my things this afternoon, something she really enjoys doing and something that usually ends with something broken or torn. Thankfully I caught her playing with an old journal of mine before she had the opportunity to rip a page out. While taking the journal from her, an entry I had written on a loose piece of paper fell out. It was a short journal entry I had written in 2004 while I was in college. I always hate reading what I’ve written in the past, but since it really pricked my heart I thought I’d share…

I’m certain I don’t know what it means to lose my own life. I can be very self absorbed – focused on my own problems, focused on my own pain. Yet living this way is not fulfilling; oddly fulfillment and contentment result in behavior that run counter to human inclination. Our human natures scream that for us to be happy we must focus on ourselves – on our own pain, our own problems. But when we do we find that the pit of discontentment has deepened… True contentment only comes when we die to ourselves and lay down our lives [for Christ]. I pray for the strength, courage and wisdom to do just that.